Throwing Sand Under the Tires

Image courtesy of Quinn Realty Group

 

I live in the Mid-Hudson Valley. Recently, we’ve been inundated with snow storm after snow storm – and quite frankly, I’m sick of it. That’s also kind of where I’m at with my writing… or lack there of. I’d posted back in November, that the gears of creativity had finally started moving after about a year and a half of rusting. This was 100% true! It was also a bit premature.

I did have a mess of ideas floating around in my head. I had come up with new directions for current WIP’s to take and new stories entirely. The thing is, even when that happened, beginning to write again was less easy. It’s been akin to getting stuck in a wicked snow bank and spinning your tires to try to get out. The ideas were there and yet somehow, I couldn’t make them manifest onto the page.

The inspiration hasn’t stopped either! I have another idea simmering just beneath the surface that internally, seems really promising. In fact, my plan is to sit down during this next stupid snow storm and begin to plot it out. I typically write first and worry about plot holes later but I feel like that could also be a big part of the problem. Maybe by throwing some sand under the spinning tires of my creative brain – by plotting my story out first – will help get me out of the snow bank and back on the road to writing. We shall see…

Gears

Just last week, I was writing about not beating myself up for my writing slump. I was talking about binge watching TV and doing whatever else I needed to replenish me. Apparently, all I needed was to binge watch Dr. Who??

I’m not even kidding! Okay, so maybe it was also the need to indulge in myself a little and also veg out and do nothing. I rarely do that. But Dr. Who somehow set all the gears in motion. Something about watching this eccentric, time traveling alien do all sorts of ludicrous things that seemingly made no sense whatsoever kicked my creative mind up a notch.

Suddenly, I’m at my work desk daydreaming about rogue mercenaries and trees coming to life. I’m imagining a world where reincarnation is expected and embraced; where being reborn is a continuation of one consciousness. I’ve begun slowly weaving together individual plot threads that may, one day, weave into a larger narrative. I’ve begun to figure out ways past those stupid plot holes that plagued one of my short stories.

                                                            I’VE GOT MOJO GOING!

With all of the new ideas floating around in my head, I feel a little bit like Belle! I’m dreaming (and quickly falling in love with) new ideas. “Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!” And yes, I can and do see the irony in getting creative writing ideas from a show plagued with sometimes atrocious writing, convoluted plot threads and an inability to write women decently. I can’t help where the creative spring decided to come from.

 

And all thanks to a time traveling alien. Who knew?

 

Cheers!

Empty Cup

I’ve stopped beating myself up for the weird habit I have of starting and stopping the creative process. It used to kill me when I wouldn’t write, no matter the reason. I’d damn near make my hair fall out stressing over writer’s block, laziness and lack of creative juice. I’d compare myself to my other writing friends and feel sick.

Friend: “I wrote 3000 yesterday and 1500 today. I’m on a roll.

Me: *cue internal screaming*

I began giving myself more slack when I realized that sometimes, not writing, at least for me, is a phase that happens; it’s a phase that can last for days, weeks, months or years. And in my case, it’s happened more than once. The last two years have been dreadful for writing. I had TONS of creative ideas and projects to finish but no time. Literally. I was either at work, asleep, trying to squeeze in some menial time with my family or commuting.

I’ve recently switched jobs, ended the commute and now have AMPLE time to write. So why haven’t I? Honestly, I’ve got no juice.  That’s not to say that I don’t have the ideas and know how I want to steer or finish certain projects. I just… the tank is running on empty. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s NaNoWriMo and I was all set to push through it and knock something out anyway. I still may, but if I don’t, I’m not going to allow myself to be crushed by it.

Sometimes friends, it’s okay to not push yourself too hard. Sometimes, the mind, body, spirit, and or self needs to be replenished before it can even fathom beginning again. There’s no shame or harm in that. So I’m going to binge Stranger Things, finally read something this year (I’m desperately behind), and allow my creative self to replenish with the understanding that I will get back to it once I have!

Cheers!

 

Book Review: Haven (Beards and Bondage Book 1) by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Let me preface this by saying that I have legitimately read every, single thing Rebekah Weatherspoon has published. I am known to over exaggerate, true, but I am NOT exaggerating about this. I’m so in love with her works that I routinely hit her up on twitter with various memes about when I can expect something new from her. I’m basically a weird, East Coast hype person for her writings; perpetually jonesing for yet another one of her books.

Proof I made a meme! I was not kidding!

Rebekah is not only a tremendous writer, but she’s also super sweet, incredibly chill and one of my writing inspirations. Any time I pick up something she’s written, I’m immediately reminded how much I too love to write. So naturally, when I got the chance to read Haven before it was released, I jumped at it. I was not disappointed!

I’m not one for roller-coasters, but I always strap in for a ride when I crack open a Rebekah Weatherspoon work. Haven was no different. I found it to be a bit darker and more serious than most of Rebekah’s other works but that made it all the more real. The way she approaches everything from trauma and mental illness, to nosy neighbors, small town life and complex family structures, helps to bring Claudia and Shep to life in a way that instantly captivates you. And of course, there’s the sex. So much delicious sex. NEVER a disappointment. 😉

 

In typical Rebekah Weatherspoon style, Haven played with my emotions from the moment I began reading it, until I put it down, immediately pissed off that I had finished it as quickly as I had and without another in the series to follow it up. Deep, intense and ridiculously sexy, Haven is a haven in a sometimes remarkably vanilla romance world. I cannot wait to see what Rebekah whips up next!

Book Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cheers!

Not Even Gonna Try to Sugar-Coat the Shit…

I am shit at this apparently. Scratch that. I’m actually fantastic at blogging (gotta love Tumblr). I’m just really shit at keeping up with this particular blog. And it isn’t for lack of want. It’s more from lack of time.

I spend around 9 hours at work and roughly 5 hours each day just to get there. Then there’s the limited time I get to spend with my family. I try to make up that time over the weekend which means, no long, leisurely writing breaks. That means no blogging (Critical and deep blogging. Not Tumblr. That’s fast, easy and doesn’t really require thought for me.) and virtually zero novel or short story writing either. Since I took the job I’m currently in, priorities have naturally had to shift and writing – my passion for writing has once again, taken a semi-permanent back seat.

That being said, I’m actually creating a plan and a schedule of sorts. I wake up at ungodly hours in the morning and binge Netflix shows that I’ve seen countless times while the family sleeps. I’m not giving that precious, silent time up. I AM however, going to take at least an hour of that time every morning to write. That doesn’t mean I’m going to guaranteed post every day or even make a dent in my hefty list of WIPs. It does mean however, that I’m once again shifting things and trying to make my wants, needs, and desires higher priorities than they currently are.

Wish me luck! Cause ya’ll all know I’m absolute rubbish at this.

Cheers!

Did you miss me??

Do you remember me saying that I was totally going to keep up from now on? I want to say that was oh… roughly 9 months ago. Well, guess what?! No, I did not have a baby (though the 9 month absence would explain so much). I did however fall into a crippling bout of depression amidst several major life changes, but that’s neither here nor there at this point.

Let’s see. Let’s see. A quick catch up session shall we?

• I started an entertainment review website with a group of friends who all subsequently, had to go there own way after only a few months of activity. The site is on hold, but not gone (thankfully!) and I hope to have it back up and running in time for the 2016-2017 TV year. It’ll be trimmed down so that I can manage it on my lonesome but it’s still going to be there.
• I now have 5 separate tumblr blogs. YIKES! I have an addiction!! But on the flip side, it’s wonderful having all of these platforms to highlight my different interests. And when I say different, I mean it!
• I’ve moved out of the Buffalo, NY area. Praise 4C Jesus! I’m back in the Hudson Valley and loving it. I’ve truly missed not only being so incredibly close to my old stomping grounds, but the Hudson Valley gives me supreme and relatively easy access to all of New England and part of the Mid-Atlantic. It also gets me back to where I need to be in order to try and make a legitimate push of my writing.
• Speaking of which… I’ve been working on a few things. Things I’m truly and utterly proud of. I still haven’t finished my novel, though I am half way through. I’m no longer stressing over it though. I’ve found that when I beat myself up over getting stuck or not immediately returning to a piece I’m working on, I make it harder to write. My characters aren’t going anywhere but right now, they also aren’t speaking to me clearly and that’s perfectly okay. I have a handful of beautiful and complex characters who are shouting in my ear and whose stories a bit less demanding. If all goes according to plan, you’ll be hearing from them as early as this Christmas!! (fingers crossed ya’ll)

That really was quick! It wasn’t everything but to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I want to share everything (Ironic. Yes I know) and I’m pretty positive you wouldn’t want to hear everything either.

I won’t make you any promises that I’ll post more frequently like I did last time. But I will keep hope alive! 🙂

Cheers!

It’s Been A Helluva Ride!

Hello, there! It’s been ages it seems. A little over a year if I’m not mistaken. The last time I posted here, I was in the thick of Grad School. I was struggling to keep my wits about me. Doing the whole life/wife/mother/employee/school thing at one time and full-time for each was a challenge that I thought I was up for. To be fair, apparently I was since I was able to not kill anyone or myself and still finish school in once piece! There’s been a fair amount of personal turmoil going on as well that I don’t want to dive into right now. Looking back at my last post, I was in a much better place then – even if I didn’t think so.

At the time, I was wondering whether or not to continue working on an idea I had. Update: I did in fact work on it and now have half of a novel written. YIPPEE!!! It’s just that… I haven’t added anything to it since April. BOOOOO! But I’ve been writing a lot recently. YIPPEE!!!! Just not anything publishable or worth noting to push my name out there. BOOOOO! Now do you understand the rollercoaster up there? That’s how my life has been this last year. I’m hoping that a change in scenery and life helps get me off that wacky ride and onto something smoother soon. Something akin to a lazy river or a hammock gently swaying in the breeze are more my style.

Anyway, I thought I’d drop by here to let you know that I am indeed still alive and still writing. Hopefully, I’ll be posting more now that I have the time.

Chapter 3-2: To Write, or Not to Write – That is the Trick Question

The question isn’t really whether or not I should write…more what should I write!? I start my fall semester in a little over three weeks. I’m in the home stretch of my writing Masters and have to prepare my thesis which is a completed manuscript. Now believe it or not, I’m not paralyzed with fear over actually completing a manuscript (something I have yet to do I may add). I am however at a complete loss as to what to write.

I have ideas…so many ideas. There are three that are currently floating through my brain. One is a collection of young adult short stories that heavily feature the societal views and opinions that affect teens in negative ways. Not a happy book by any means but something I feel would get people talking and hopefully have an effect on at least one person.

 

There’s another one that I recently came up with. It’s a funny NA book about a peculiar addict that repeatedly falls off the wagon with increasingly dire consequences (I’d tell you more but I really like this one and don’t want to give too much away).

The final one is one that has been stewing for over a year. I keep coming back to it. It’s a thriller…I think. I love my main character (she’s a B.A.M.F), her origin story is hard and sad but it gives her purpose and an energy that is intoxicating. Not to mention I get to shoot people and blow people up in cool ways in this one so it’s even more exciting to me.

I have three ideas; three completely different voices. It may just be a thesis, but I’m hoping to edit it, give it to Beta readers and pitch it eventually so…what should I choose?

Chapter 3 – 1: Fear; the Destroyer of Dreams

I’d be lying if I said that my dream isn’t to be published someday. I’d also be lying if I said that I haven’t dreamt of landing some kind of Rowling deal where I can sell a book series for über amounts of cash. It would be so much money that I could blow my nose with a twenty dollar bill and not think twice about it. I have. I think many writers have fantasized about that at some point.

Realistically however, I’d just like to actually COMPLETE something. I’ve made plenty of excuses for why I haven’t; I don’t have the time. I’d be neglecting my marriage. I’d be neglecting my daughter. It’s too hard. When I really stop and think about it, it all boils down to the same kind of fear that any adolescent has in school: what if they don’t like me?

I could write my idea of the next best American novel and have beta readers check it out or shop it out to agents. The fear of rejection is real people. I follow so many amazing authors, literary agents, and book connoisseurs on Twitter and absorb everything they tweet about. I dream that one day, someone that I respect will pick up my work and think “Hey! This chick is great!” My reality however is usually far different than my dreams.

I know at some point I’m going to have to get over that if I truly want to make a name for myself in the literary world (which I do more than anything else I have ever wanted), it’s just easier said than done. I’m going to have to start not just believing that my dreams can come true, but that I can make it happen.

Chapter 3: I Swear I Didn’t Fall In

Hey er’body!! First of all, let me apologize profusely for being absent for over a year from the blogosphere. Grad school was FAR more demanding than I could have ever imagined. Who’s dumb enough to think that they can actually maintain a blog while working full time, dealing with a toddler, trying to be a decent wife and have a social life? Oh that’s right….me.

That’s not really an excuse just fact. Some people are magnificent and multi-tasking. As long as it doesn’t involve anything complicated, I’m not bad at it myself. But I had one set of expectations and they were so far off of the mark that I just caved and started to fall short on some aspects of life. The first thing to go was this blog and for that, I am sorry…and slightly ashamed.

In other news, if you recall my last blog post (yes I know….it was over a year ago) discussed my anxiety and fear over actually being forced to write and having people critique it all. Turns out, I was just over analyzing things like I always do. Not only was a I able to knock out 1200 words a week, I started writing other random things or going over the requirements. I’m still not at 5000 words a day but without distractions, I can push 3000 which is huge for me!

I’ve written some of my best stuff in the last year. Granted, I haven’t written a novel, I’ve still managed to write compelling short stories, descriptive poetry, and I’ve even begun the journey into screenwriting – which I now have a deep love for. I can’t guarantee that I’ll post every week as was my original goal, but now that the writing juice is back, you can rest assured that you’ll be hearing from me more often!